...for Oprah Winfrey, Nick Jonas, William Hung, George Clooney, Tom Cruise, Miley Cyrus, Harrison Ford, Johnny Depp, Rick Astley, Kanye West, and P. Diddy. Why? Yes, they're (almost) all hugely gifted. Yes, they're all pukingly rich. And yes, one or two of the names on the list have continued to hide their homosexuality from an increasingly curious public. So, why are these people so lucky? They're not dead, despite credible (what?! because SneakySalmon was caught with 2 balloons of nitrous, we're not credible?) news media reporting their deaths. Despite blurbs with pre-written obits...they are very much alive. Of course, Amy Winehouse certainly is dead and her whole career has been an extended Weekend at Bernie's style prank.
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