All I see is fuzz.

Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger was recently accused of raping a Harrah’s hotel employee. The alleged victim claims that the football player lured her in by saying his TV was broken. Roethlisberger denies that he assaulted anyone but does confirm that his tv was indeed broken. No matter how hard he tried he couldn’t get the Erin Andrews Channel to come in clearly. And since he was the one who placed the camera he was expecting a much clearer picture.

My precious!

In further attempts to investigate motivation for Micheal Jackson's death, authorties opened Jackson's private safe and an individual rumoured to be Mike's lovechild was found inside. More unsettling it was really another Goslin kid! And of course, it was a boy.

Of the sea, by the sea, from the sea....

Jessica, after Tony Romo broke up with you one day before your 29th birthday, it turns out you've been eating Chicken all along!

Lady Ga-Ga nightmare #9...

Judging by her outfit it looks as if Gag-Gag barely survived a stomping by a team of high-heeled martini minxes. Possibly enraged by the lady's refusal to cover her woman wedge? Next time there will be no saving Gag-Gag when she is finally beaten to death by a team of club queens welding "disco sticks".

Nipped in the bud...

So far Rhianna has issued few and far denials concerning her alleged nudie bootay shots. Some of Sneaky's colleagues in evil (this means YOU! Perez!) have shown poor sportsmanship by publishing links to sites carrying the shots. For the record sneaky Salmon will never publish links to stars' split, glistening beavers or some Celebutaunt's somu-fuck (wake up Paris....your orgasm is ready) to draw views to this blog. Instead sneaky will view them for you and report back on the bush. The Rhianna shots are certainly hot and if its a look-alike in the stills, she passed the squint test and the zoom quiz. But, the shots are all sideways and generically funky looking...and from Sneaky's experience with home pornography getting a guy to "get in real tight for the pink" is rarely an issue. But, really after seeing Rhianna Semi-flash last week, Sneaky is surprised she didn't use her nipples as weapons during the Chris Brown assault. She could shiskabob flank steak with those things.

If they say Why? Why? Tell them that its human nature...

Law enforcement officials removed several bags of evidence from the California home where Micheal Jackson was staying prior to his death. It's been reported that the cops found a medication seemingly powerful enough to tranquilize a horse...And disturbingly a Clydesdale has stepped forward and accused Mike of molestation after waking up and finding itself sharing the King of Pop's bed. The horse was too traumatized to comment.